The person my girl most enjoys having sex with is herself.
To this end, she’s addicted to buying sex toys. Some of her “treasures” are so advanced and powerful that they make my
eyes water.
They cost a fortune too. She views adult aids as an investment in her health. Every clitoral stimulator (with sonic waves) and pulsating vibrator brings her closer to personal satisfaction and ecstasy.
READ MORE: 'My ex wants a bonk buddy and wants 'just sex' meetings - I’m addicted to him'
Keep up to date with all the latest advice from our agony aunt Just Jane here
Sometimes she tips one of her (many) boxes of tricks on to the bed and I feel like the proverbial spare part. Why does she need me when she has a gadget for every orifice? Is she a narcissist? Is she a self-serving thrill seeker? And what’s my true role?
Her grandad died in May leaving her a healthy inheritance, and she’s spent thousands turning our basement into a fully mirrored love room with round bed, hot tub, dancing pole and wall-mounted restraints.
Our dirty den is a treasure trove of double ended toys, flavoured lubricants, sexy undies – and more. Invited friends love it down there. I’m impressed too, but I increasingly question why she keeps me around.
Sometimes I watch her with her latest gadget; she’s admiring herself in the mirror and it looks like she’s more in love with herself than anyone else. I’m an open-minded fella and wouldn’t mind any of this if she actually gave me some love and attention.
The whole thing is very baffling and made worse by the fact I’m too embarrassed to talk to her about this. I’m a proud guy and don’t know where to begin.
JANE SAYS: It’s awkward and embarrassing, but I urge you to ask her what you mean to her.
Does she keep you around because she fears being alone and you’re great company? Are you there simply to put the bins out? Or does she genuinely love you?
Sadly, neither of you is talking about the big issue here – the fact she’s going off in her own direction.
Explain that you love and respect her but miss her touch. Tell her you long to be close again. Okay, so she loves sex toys, but can’t you play with them together? Or bring them out on special occasions instead of every time you hit the sack?
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Masturbation is healthy and she’s fully entitled to do whatever she likes, but what about physical skin-to-skin comfort and love?
Offer to take things slowly. Suggest a relaxing, early night so you can cuddle and see what develops. If she accuses you of being set in your ways and boring, offer to change. Ask her what she’d like you to do to shake up your sex life.
Ultimately, however, she must be prepared to meet you halfway and accept she’s being selfish. If she really won’t, then would she be happier without you on a full-time basis? Her call.
